In theory, this should be a wonderful thing. Women in their 40s and beyond enjoy a significantly stronger libido than their 20-something counterparts. At the same time, the 20-something men putting themselves on display are at the height of their sexual prime, and looking for essentially what the older women are looking for: cheap, fast, exciting sex. Couple that with the fact that older women are much more confident and willing to do the opening, and you might ask yourself: how can I lose?

The problem is that finding a mate isn’t just about finding a mate. It’s much more about finding the best mate you can get. The guys I know who have gone this route tire of it pretty quickly, and the near universal reason they burn out is that they simply get tired of older women.

Why? Simple: they weren’t looking for older women to begin with. What they really wanted was a hot young woman that they had to chase. A combination of crippling AA, laziness and a healthy dose of desperation was what really brought them to the wrinkle ranch, and once the desperation was quelled, the women stayed the same.

Am I telling you not to hit up the wrinkle wranch? Not at all. Have at it if you want, you might have a good time. Just don’t go there under false pretenses. Don’t convince yourself that the WR hookup is what you really want, instead of admitting that your AA and lack of congruence are preventing you from attracting the younger, prettier girls. That said, a night at the wrinkle ranch can do wonders for the sorely incongruent male.

Roll in, get opened, maybe get closed. Have a good time. Improve your self-opinion, then leave. The benefit to your congruence will peak, and then it will snowball downhill quickly if you start to feel like a guy who is only really good at laying old ladies.

I hit up a wrinkle ranch last weekend with a buddy just for kicks. It had been awhile (at least a decade), and I had forgotten just how aggressive older women can be. We were opened a few times within about 15 minutes, and a half-hour in I was literally pounced upon by a woman claiming to be 38 (fat chance — I’d say 48 would be a better estimate). It was at this point that I remembered why I always advised my friends to avoid wrinkle ranches and instead focus on congruence building: there was no chance in hell I would go home with this woman, not even on a mission of mercy.

For me, there is no excitement in getting picked up. I am a PUA, I’ll do the picking up, thanks. I will select you, not the other way around. And most importantly, I will attract women on the level that I truly desire, rather than laying myself out before the vultures and settling for whoever approaches me.

Read that last sentence again. That’s what being a PUA is all about: choice.

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First of all, I don’t dance. It does nothing for me. Of course that makes things a bit odd when you find yourself at a club where people are dancing, but so be it.

There are three ways to approach this scenario:

• Dance, have no fun, and feel like an idiot.
• Don’t dance, have no fun, and feel left out.
• Don’t dance, be congruent, and enjoy yourself.

Guess which one is the correct approach?

On the topic of congruence: men will approach you all night, asking you why you aren’t dancing.  On any given night, the cock-block brigade wil be out in full force, and one of the signature moves of an experienced cock blocker is to challenge you for your non-conformance.  If you are already with a beautiful woman or two, the CB Brigade will double their efforts.

How to respond?

Incongruent: “Uh, I’m tired, err… I’m not a good dancer, uhmmm, I don’t feel like it.” (look away, turn red)

Congruent: “I didn’t come here to dance.” (smile, turn to your companions and continue talking)

Pretty basic stuff, right? Always keep that in mind. Be congruent.

So anyways, I’m out with two beautiful women. I’m listening to the music, they’re dancing together. By the way, my congruence is wholly dependent upon the fact that I’d much rather watch the girls I come with dancing, being sexy and having fun than go out and dance myself. It’s not fun for me, I don’t look sexy… I think the choice is obvious.

So AFC approaches, stands in front of me, and begins dancing near us. It’s pretty clear he’s going for the “accidental” opener, wherein he pretends to be surprised by us a few minutes later, and then engages the females. This is a lame opener, by the way — do not “accidentally” approach women, intentionally approach them! This is also where AMOGs start getting testy — he’s moving in on the group using the ultimate AMOG technique, and AMOG feels threatened.

Luckily for this guy, I’m not an AMOG — AMOGs are the farthest thing from ALPHA that you can get (this is explained in the Seenstr level one eBook in detail).

I lean over to girl 1 and say “check your watch, in 5 minutes this guy is going to make his move”. She in turn leans to girl 2 and repeats my prediction.

5 minutes later, guess what? AFC makes his move.

AFC: “Oh hey, didn’t see you there!”

Girls roll eyes. I laugh.

AFC: “Are you guys together?”

Girl 1: “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend.”

Girl 2: “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend too!”

AFC: “Really? Lucky guy!” (cue sequence of goofy, pseudo-sexy facial expressions).

Of course, the girls want to know how I not only knew he’d make a move, but how long it would take him.

The rest of the night, AFC shadows me, asking for my “secret”.

Couple hours later, girl 1 comes up to me and relays a woeful tale of pickup on the dancefloor.

AFC: “Hey, what’s up?”

Girl 1: (responds in foreign language)

AFC: Oh, (responds in same foreign language)?

Ok pause here a moment. Girl 1 served up a very interesting but not uncommon shit test — she was foreign, and decided only to talk to this guy in her native tongue. For most of us, this is a tough one to handle.

The wrong response: “what? WHAT? WHAT I CAN’T UNERSTAND YOU!”

The right response: converse back in some other, non-english, possibly made up language. See how long you can keep it going with her. Continue until she laughs. ICE BROKEN!

He actually had an ace up his sleeve — he knew the language she was shit testing him with. Unfortunately for him, he went nowhere with it, and she blew him out immediately.

The rest of the “pickup”, if you want to call it that, consisted of such lame classics as “oh are you too good for me?” “what you don’t want to talk to me or something?” “what, do you have a boyfriend or something?”

That’s 0 to 60 to 120 in reverse in 2 minutes. ALWAYS be aware of shit tests, and especially be aware of those small moments when the Gods bestow a gift of luck upon you. If a girl shit tests you in a way that — by pure luck — you are able to immediately turn into a DHV, DON’T BLOW IT!

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First, I should point out that a huge part of the Seenstr Method is congruence, and a key concept is the 80% rule.  Briefly, the 80% rule states that once you open a set, you have surpassed 80% of the men in the room (which includes those who never even entered the room).  Conquering approach anxiety puts you in the top 20% of men competing for the attention of the women in proximity.  When you know you are in the top 20%, you should get a huge boost in congruence.  It is easier to believe that you are a desirable prize when you know that you are in the top fifth of local men.

Short version: A PUA opens sets.

Now, the story:

Recently I started taking the bus to one particular place I need to get to.  I started doing this for three reasons.  First, my guilt over the impact I personally have on the environment driving around Los Angeles is starting to get to me.  Second, it takes less time to get to this particular place I need to be via mass transit than it does in my own car (30 minutes typically versus an hour and a half).  And third, it is a terrific way to study human nature.   This story is a terrific case in point.

So I’m on the bus, hanging in the back, actually paying attention to two women in their early 30s having a conversation.  I was deep in an analysis of their issues when an HB8 gets on, rolls to the back, and sits next to me.  I would have opened her, but to be quite honest, I was more engaged with the conversation the two women were having.

A couple stops later, a guy in his early 20s gets on, moves to the back, and plants himself right next to HB8.  Describing this guy would be pretty tough, but let’s say that he was severely mentally handicapped.  If he wasn’t as extremely slow as he was, he would have actually seemed like a normal, relatively good looking guy.  In other words, he wasn’t drooling, banging his head against the wall, or anything like that.  Just… slow.  VERY SLOW.  Oh, and with the thickest glasses you’ve ever seen.

So anyways this guy naturally gets my attention.  I notice he’s sort of eyeing the HB8 next to me, and I start to wonder what this guy might be thinking.  Soon enough:

“Hey how was work?”

HOLY SHIT he opened the set!

Now pause for a minute.  How do you think HB8 reacted?  Do you think she ignored him?  Did she blow him out immediately?  Did she flat out reject him?

Seriously, what do you think she did?

ANSWER: She talked to him.

This is the moment, if you’ve got game, where you start to demonstrate your social value to the target.  Without opening, this moment is never going to happen.  I don’t think this guy was capable of doing much on his own, given his affliction, but he was able to open a set.

Are you?

Now, of course he blew it.  Not that he had much of a chance to begin with.  About 5 minutes in he dropped the dreaded “do you have a boyfriend?” bomb.  He also was way too aggressive.

I can’t believe I’m analyzing a retarded guy’s pickup, but I thought it would be incomplete if I didn’t.

Anyways, what’s the moral of this story?

OPEN OPEN OPEN.

A mentally retarded young man opened a set right in front of me.  What’s your excuse?

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The level one eBook is turning into a pretty deep piece of work. It covers pretty much every angle of the model, plus a couple bonus sections (at-work pickup, quick closing, etc). There will also be some more bonus material included with the eBook but which will be made available a week or so after the guide becomes available. These will include some field reports, openers, negs and other “traditional” stuff, although as you’ll see reading the book, I reveal a much more powerful pickup technique than most people are expecting. Negs and canned openers are pretty much back-pocket tools in the Seenstr method, not the main focus.

We’ve also been field testing the technique pretty heavily — not just with us men, but women as well.  That’s right, the Seenstr method is even used by women to meet women.  For those who have bought Seenstr’s Guide to Threesomes, you may want to check this one out as well, because your woman #1 can benefit from understanding the Projecting Self-Image concept when securing woman #2.

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I advocate natural game.  The Seenstr Method is, in essense, a combination of approach anxiety destruction and inner game construction, and the result is a new you, projecting WANTED instead of DESPERATE.  We don’t rely on canned material anymore, and we don’t run the risk of being called out as a PUA.

Stay tuned.

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So what is so hard about picking up a girl at work? As long as she isn’t a stripper or really busy, wouldn’t it be the same as a normal pick up? For example if she was a waitress or worked at a retail store what would you do different?

Well your disqualifiers are pretty much the point. That is to say, when you ask what if she isn’t really busy, then it isn’t really a work pickup, is it? Sure, there are women who are paid to stand around and do nothing. But how common is that? If you encounter a beautiful woman at her place of employment, more than likely you are going to have to deal with the following obstacles:

1. She has a job to do, and doing that job is her main focus.
2. She has a boss who is paying her to work, not stand around and be entertained by you for an hour, and if he’s there, she will blow you off quickly lest she find herself jobless.
3. Her job is more important than some stranger asking her opinion about _____.
4. There may be some policy in place about meeting people at work, or she may have an internal policy about meeting people at work.
5. Any men she works with have probably been fighting for her attention for quite a while now, and will do a LOT of work to tear down your value, either in front of your face (bad), or in the back, where you can’t defend yourself (worse).

A quick point about #4: beautiful girls get hit on at work all the time. They don’t always reject those suitors — some of them have game after all. That means, if she’s had the job long enough, there are at least 2-3 guys she’s met at work, dated, and who turned out to be dipshits. 99% of the time, the guys in a girl’s past are regarded as trash once the relationship ends. And women tend to love categorization (which is part of the reason they love astrology). If the last three guys she met at work were “bad guys,” you can be sure that she will associate every guy after them as “bad guys,” if they hit on her at work.

So we’ve got five obstacles. That’s a lot of obstacles. Here’s another one: you have very limited time to put your thing down.

Does she work at a coffee house?

You: “Large mocha, please”
Her: “$3.50 please”
You: “Here you go, say, can I get your opinion about something?”
Her: “Next!”

Hmm, yeah, not so good. The financial transaction is not amenable to pickup. Even if the place is slow, and you are the only one in line, she has other things to do.

The work pickup is hard, but it is definitely possible. I met my current LTR at her work, and several girls prior (and since). I mastered the work pickup as a challenge, because the rule around my roost was “never pickup a girl at work.” I laughed, and set about to learn how it’s done.

Now, it is far too complicated to completely lay out in a blog post, but I will give you the basics. The rest is an entire chapter in my Guide to Seduction ebook (which should be ready soon).

So here are the two most important things:

1. Don’t try to do it all in one day.
2. When she gets distracted, bail to preserve your value.

Here’s the deal, guys. A successful pickup requires a certain amount of time. If you only have a couple minutes (the transaction period), but your particular flavor of game requires, say, 30 minutes, then you need to spread it out over several visits. You know where she works, she isn’t going anywhere. Don’t be a stalker, just begin to frequent her place of employment. Is she a barista? Boom. Now you know where you’re getting your coffee. And you’ll probably want to double or triple your coffee intake, as well. Become a regular.

The first couple transactions give you just about enough time to smile, drop a compliment (on something she’s wearing, not on her physical beauty), or ask if she goes to the local university, lake, beach, or whatever. Just drop an anchor in, nothing serious. And then bail.

After that, you should know her name. Don’t ask, dummy. It’s on her nametag. Start referring to her by name. After twice, she’ll ask you yours. Why? Because it is discomforting when someone knows more about you than you know about them. She’ll ask. In the event she doesn’t, offer it. Don’t say “by the way, I’m….” Be clever.

You: “Thank you, Beth”
Her: “You’re welcome.”
You: “No, I’m Seenstr, actually.”

Smooth.

Once you’ve got familiarity (you know each other’s names), you should be about 15 minutes into the pickup, and we might be talking about 5 visits here at this point. Now, we can pick a slow moment, when there isn’t a lot of people in the place, and start working our magic. We have comfort, now we can move to seduction.

What about the second point, bailing to preserve value? Easy. Now we’re at the point of conversation. We know each other’s names, we start a small chat about something interesting, and…. the phone rings. Or her boss calls her over. Or another customer comes in.

What do we do?

BAIL.

If you stand there like a moron while she tends to whatever business needs tending to, you will obliterate your social value right there on the spot. 5-10 visits, 5-10 comfort building sessions, possibly 2-3 attraction routines, and you are lower than shit. DO NOT STAND THERE. This should be second nature, instinct. You MUST walk away when you lose focus. And never take it personally.

Once enough comfort has been established, you can use one of the next visits to do a quick invitation to another venue.

Here’s an easy one. Most places — stores, restaurants, coffee houses, etc — have music playing. Always know what is happening in your town. Always know when, where and what about upcoming social gatherings.

If she works there, she probably likes the music. Or at least can stand it. Or at the very least, has developed a curiosity about it. If the band playing has a show coming up, invite her. If some other band of the same genre has a show coming up, invite her.

You: “Hey, have you heard of _____?”
Her: “No, who’s that?”
You: “They sound kind of like..” (pointing up)
Her: “Oh really, are they good?”
You: “Yeah, they’re playing this Saturday, are you going?”
Her: “No.”
You: “I’m getting tickets tonight, want to go?”

Boom. In.

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Anyways, everyone, sorry for the lack of posts this week.  I had some business stuff to attend to.  I will be back in full swing this weekend.

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How many of us thought this was going to be Kosmo?

So let’s talk about this episode.

The reward challenge this week was to pickup a “moving target”. This is incredibly hard. Remember that most of what you’ve seen is the process of picking up women who are, quite honestly, looking to be picked up. This was the first episode on dealing with picking up women who aren’t expecting it, and have something else to do with their time other than meeting men.

So it was not a surprise that none of the boys were able to close anyone.

Here are the key points to remember when approaching a moving target:

1. Never approach from the back. Subconsciously, this makes us feel vulnerable and open to attack. Always open from the front.
2. Never open a set that is moving towards you. She will never stop. Ever. No matter who you are.
3. Always talk over your shoulder, as if you could walk away at any time.
4. Don’t follow her line of motion, make her follow your line of motion.

Those are the rules. Still, none of that makes it automatic, or even easy. It’s not. Notice that, after the boys all failed, Mystery did not jump in and show them how it’s done.

But there are ways to make it easier. Notice that the guy who came the closest was Brady. Remember his opening? “Where are the bats?”

Apparently there is some sort of bat cave over there is Austin. Anyways, why this worked is that it is an opening that people will stop for.

If you ask “what time is it?”, she will look at her watch, tell you the time, and never stop moving. Don’t use opinion openers, either. They make no sense in the context of a moving target. Ask directions. Ask where something is, and she’ll stop. Half way through her telling you how to get there, interrupt her and ask her if she’s been there. And so on.

At some point, derail the conversation and start your routines. What point? Roughly the moment that she begins to forget why you stopped her in the first place. Maybe three situational threads later, jump into your usual stuff. Now, guess what? You’re not dealing with a moving target anymore. It’s just day game. Get her over to a bench and keep chatting her up.

I could have gotten all three of those guys to close on the bridge.

So no one won, and no one got Tara as a pivot. I’m glad, because for the field test, that would have been horribly unfair.

In class, Mystery mentioned the difficulty of picking up women at work. That’s funny, because I just finished the chapter on at-work pickup for my new ebook. He dropped the topic completely in favor of discussing picking up strippers at work, so I guess I’ll have to pick up the slack in a later post.

So let’s talk about stripper game.

Here’s the bad news about strippers:

1. They are paid to be into you, so you can’t trust any indicators of interest (IOIs).
2. Every night, a hundred guys want to go home with them. You are just another one of them.
3. The club most likely has rules preventing them from leaving with you or giving you their number.

Here’s the good news about strippers:

1. They have their own money, and aren’t impressed by yours (nor are they disgusted by your lack of money).
2. They are fun as hell.
3. They are on such a high and unstable pedestal when you meet them, that knocking them off of it is a piece of cake.
4. They will approach you.

Now pay attention to Kosmo’s game in this episode.  He pretty much nailed it (even though he didn’t close).  See how he was leaning back, looking around, dropping negs, but at the same time giving her respect.

The last thing a stripper wants to hear from you is how you pity her and wish she could do another job.  She doesn’t want to be asked “why do you do this?” or “do you like this?”, nor does she want to hear how douchey all the other guys in the club are.  She does want to be asked what else she does, because most strippers do something else besides stripping.  My recommendation is to ask that question with authority.  Mention that you dated strippers in the past, and you know they all have a side interest.  It’s usually “beauty school”, but let her tell you.

Whatever you do, do not get a lap dance,  and do not buy her a drink.  None of that stuff.  If she doesn’t get hooked without you throwing money at her, let her walk away.  The minute you pull out your wallet, you lower your value to her.

One final, and obvious tip: do not stare at her body.  Every other guy in there is there to see naked women.  You have to be the one guy who can see a naked woman whenever the hell you want, and you demonstrate that by not getting distracted by her nudity.

It looked like the club in last nights episode was actually a non-nude club.  So that last point was easy for them.  It’s brutally hard in any other club.

Ok, so the winner was: Brady.  Didn’t see that coming.

Notice that Brady initially fell into a bad trap.  He was basically insulting the girl.  Remember kids, a neg is not an insult.  A neg is a playful, backhanded compliment or a neutral, asexual comment meant to disqualify yourself as a potential suitor.  It is not an insult.  Brady was insulting that first girl.  He insulted the second girl as well, by asking where all the hotties were, but he recovered nicely by saying “only kidding”.  But that was a dangerous line to cross.  Pulling that kind of shit can get you thrown out of the club if you don’t play your cards right.

So let me just sum this up by telling you the number on tip on how to date a stripper: meet her outside the club.  Their defenses are just too damn high.  Its a brutal game.  She will spend the fist 80% of the process trying to separate you from your money, and the minute she does, you lost.  Outside of the club, she won’t be in stripper mode anymore, and will just be a normal woman.

That’s why the big key to picking her up in the club is to get her out of stripper mode as fast as possible.   Remember the girl who walked over to Brady and tried to sit on his lap?  He didn’t let her, and said “I’m not in that headspace right now.”  This subconsciously allows her to get out of that headspace as well.  The next step is to start talking about anything other than strippers and strip clubs.  Here’s where you go into your “what else do you have going on?” routine.  Get her to talk about her interests outside the club ASAP.

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