One maneuver some guys with (unconfessed) approach anxiety sometimes make is to bypass the club scene altogether in favor of what my friends and I used to call wrinkle ranches. These days I’ve heard them referred to as cougar dens, but essentially we’re talking about bars frequented by younger men and older women.
In theory, this should be a wonderful thing. Women in their 40s and beyond enjoy a significantly stronger libido than their 20-something counterparts. At the same time, the 20-something men putting themselves on display are at the height of their sexual prime, and looking for essentially what the older women are looking for: cheap, fast, exciting sex. Couple that with the fact that older women are much more confident and willing to do the opening, and you might ask yourself: how can I lose?
The problem is that finding a mate isn’t just about finding a mate. It’s much more about finding the best mate you can get. The guys I know who have gone this route tire of it pretty quickly, and the near universal reason they burn out is that they simply get tired of older women.
Why? Simple: they weren’t looking for older women to begin with. What they really wanted was a hot young woman that they had to chase. A combination of crippling AA, laziness and a healthy dose of desperation was what really brought them to the wrinkle ranch, and once the desperation was quelled, the women stayed the same.
Am I telling you not to hit up the wrinkle wranch? Not at all. Have at it if you want, you might have a good time. Just don’t go there under false pretenses. Don’t convince yourself that the WR hookup is what you really want, instead of admitting that your AA and lack of congruence are preventing you from attracting the younger, prettier girls. That said, a night at the wrinkle ranch can do wonders for the sorely incongruent male.
Roll in, get opened, maybe get closed. Have a good time. Improve your self-opinion, then leave. The benefit to your congruence will peak, and then it will snowball downhill quickly if you start to feel like a guy who is only really good at laying old ladies.
I hit up a wrinkle ranch last weekend with a buddy just for kicks. It had been awhile (at least a decade), and I had forgotten just how aggressive older women can be. We were opened a few times within about 15 minutes, and a half-hour in I was literally pounced upon by a woman claiming to be 38 (fat chance — I’d say 48 would be a better estimate). It was at this point that I remembered why I always advised my friends to avoid wrinkle ranches and instead focus on congruence building: there was no chance in hell I would go home with this woman, not even on a mission of mercy.
For me, there is no excitement in getting picked up. I am a PUA, I’ll do the picking up, thanks. I will select you, not the other way around. And most importantly, I will attract women on the level that I truly desire, rather than laying myself out before the vultures and settling for whoever approaches me.
Read that last sentence again. That’s what being a PUA is all about: choice.
35 responses so far ↓
1 Fullmonty // Nov 13, 2007 at 1:48 pm
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2 space // Dec 16, 2007 at 2:57 pm
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