Before you listen to this, keep in mind that Gene Simmons is the farthest thing from a pickup artist. Rich, famous rock stars meet tons of beautiful women by default. Take away his money and status, and I can guarantee he’s a total loser with women.
Regardless, this interview is brilliant. I’ll say it again, I’m not just interested in pickup, I’m interested in people. And the science of people goes beyond just meeting people of the opposite sex. There is a science to making a relationship last more than a couple weeks or months.
One of the big problems, at least in American society, is that we have adopted a cultural system in which men, and everything that comes along with manhood, are demonized. Men, from an early age, start to have thoughts and feelings that our mothers begin beating out of us. Our fathers, after years of this conditioning, are far less likely to tell us that our feelings are normal, and just part of being male. Instead, they go along with the status quo, reinforcing what our mothers tell us out of fear for their own happiness, thereby raising yet another generation of confused, emasculated males.
This is not the fault of women, it is the fault of people. Something like this does not happen because one person, or even one gender, sets about to make it so. It happens because society as a whole allows it to happen. Our fathers are supposed to be there to provide a male counterpoint to the female philosophy of manhood. Unfortunately, too many of us are raised either without fathers, by beta- or gamma-male step fathers, or by the broken down, beaten into submission by life men we call “Dad”. It is just as much, if not moreso, the fault of men that later generations of men feel confusion and shame about the things that make them men.
Note, as you listen to this, that something very interesting happens:
Gene speaks very openly and honestly about what matters to him, as a man. He warns the interviewer that women want it both ways — they want a man to be honest, but when he is, they freak out, deny everything he says, and call him an asshole. Moments later, the interviewer is doing exactly what he told her she would do, calling him “obnoxious”, insisting that everything applies to him only, and that he is “full of himself”.
Men, sound familiar? This is why you can’t tell your wives/girlfriends how you really feel. You fear the reaction you are going to get. Do you know how many men I know who have female friends who know much more about the real them than their supposed “closest” person? Women, is this what you want? You want a man to tell you what you want to hear, then run off to his friends — and possibly other women — and tell them the truth?
Is there any wonder the divorce rate is astronomically high, and relationships almost always fail?
Have a listen, and tell me what you think.
http://erim.net/archives/gene-simmons-and-terry-gross-interview
As you listen to this interview, think about what your first instinct is: is it that Gene is a prick, a misogynistic ass? Or is it that he is a man, and the interviewer simply refuses to accept that the male point of view is different from hers? Be honest, how do you initially react?
Now follow up on that. Why do you react that way? And — very important — do you want to keep reacting this way? Or are you ready to put your foot down, assert your masculinity, and refuse to settle for anything less?
35 responses so far ↓
1 Manliness Today - #13 at Brakar.com // Sep 5, 2007 at 1:36 am
[…] Gene Simmons on NPR […]
2 TMac // Sep 17, 2007 at 1:07 pm
so do you think Tom Leykis, radio personality in the LA area, is a prick/mysogynistic ass — or is he also just being a man, giving the male perspective on things?
3 seenstr // Sep 17, 2007 at 5:35 pm
I think that the whole “Leykis 101″ thing is a big part of his radio persona, so you have to take it with a grain of salt.
What he is saying, when you strip away the hyperbole, is 100% true. Men need to be aware of what women want from them, and they need to defend against having their needs flushed down the toilet.
Unfortunately, Leykis turns up the sensationalism and makes common sense sound like dumb woman bashing. Which, I think, does more harm than good.
His job isn’t to “do good”, however, it’s to sell advertising. So again, take it for what it’s worth.
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5 sazzle // Jun 13, 2008 at 11:45 pm
take away Demies money and she’s a loser with males.
Definately works both ways.
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