Let’s talk a bit about looking good, smelling good and feeling good. Yes, they are all related.
If you haven’t yet read my post on Projecting Self-Image, go read that now. To summarize, what people think of you, on first meeting you, is entirely dependent on what you think of you.
So let’s say you’re fat, ugly, filthy, poor… all of these things, on their own, convey low value to people — especially women. If you’re fat, you must not care about your health. If you are ugly, you have a lower chance of having attractive offspring. If you are filthy, like being obese, you must not care about yourself (and why would anyone care about you if you don’t care about you?) If you are poor, you must be lazy.
These conclusions may not be true. But if the people you meet perceive them to be true, you will have given a first impression about yourself that is not quite what you are going for, especially if you are trying to attract women.
Now, good, strong game can overcome ALL of that. The reason is, women do not make unconscious decisions about attraction based on outward appearance. Or money, for that matter. I can give a fat, poor, ugly slob a good pep talk and he’ll get the number of every girl in the room if he’s smooth. But what do you do when you get her back to your apartment?
You’ve attracted her. You’ve built comfort. You’ve seduced her. You are making out on your couch. You take her hand, walk her to the bedroom, and take off your shirt. And… bitch tits.
Two problems here. First, the woman hasn’t fully committed to sleeping with you until she is sleeping with you. She has this uncanny ability to back out at any time, simply by saying something like “we’re moving too fast” or “I have a boyfriend”. Yes, even right at the exact moment of closing, she can do this, and you can say nothing. Do you want to chance that? Second, your insecurity can easily get in the way. Maybe you are going to freak out. Imagine, looking down at this beautiful woman. So many thoughts are racing through your head. You can’t believe your game is so tight! You can’t believe a woman like this actually came home with you! YOU CAN’T BELIEVE HOW DISGUSTING YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK PRESSED ON TOP OF HER!!!
If that thought creeps into your head, I can almost guarantee you are going to have… performance issues. You can not do the deed when you are freaking out about yourself.
The answer is simple: get yourself in shape. Just remember, the game can take care of the process, but there is much more to life than the process. You actually want to close, don’t you? You don’t want to blow the opportunity to make the perfect girl into a permanent fixture in your life, do you? Don’t let that happen.
While you are practicing your game, getting smooth, a good idea is to not focus on closing yet. Give yourself a couple months to get to that point. Keep going out into the field, but while you are practicing your game, spend your days getting in shape.
I am in perfect shape at this point, although I haven’t been to a gym in months. I’m just too busy at the moment, but before I got too busy, I got myself in shape. Now I simply maintain it.
Here are some tips:
Do something active every day. Start walking to places that are within a block or two of you (or more). At least walk. I know people who never walk anywhere. Don’t be like them.
Take up a sport. Take up golf, if you suck at every other sport. Golf can be terrific exercise, especially if you walk the course instead of renting a cart.
I focus my bored energy on something other than food. Do you know that most people are fat because they are bored? Bored people kill their boredom by eating. Skinny people kill their boredom by doing something not boring. Learn to occupy your time better.
Don’t drink soda. Don’t drink a lot of juice. I lost about 10 pounds when I cut soda and juice out of my diet. 10 pounds, without doing anything. Drink lots of water. If you need caffeine, drink black coffee and unsweetened tea. I have gotten so used to the taste of black coffee and plain tea that if you put something in my coffee or tea I’d probably puke. What we think are our “tastes” are actually “customs”. We like what we’re used to. If you make yourself get used to something else, that something will magically become your “taste”. Its crazy, but it’s true.
Don’t diet. Diets make you fat.
Once you start looking better, you will feel better, and you will naturally, automatically, project self-worth. When I come out of the gym and start walking home, I have had women leap at me. Why? Was I doing anything different? Not consciously. I simply felt better about myself, I was proud of myself, and people — even people you pass on the sidewalk — pick up on that, and want to be a part of whatever you’ve got going on. Even if they have no idea what it is.
Most importantly, you want to be able to close the deal, and feel good about it. If you are having sex with a woman, the best feeling in the world is looking down at her and knowing that she feels privileged to be with someone who values their body as much as you do.
I promised to talk about smelling good, didn’t I. Here’s the deal: don’t buy cheap cologne. Get the good stuff. Don’t get anything too common. Ask the cutest girl behind the counter for a recommendation. They know what they’re talking about. Do not buy any of those body sprays that advertise on TV. There is almost nothing that smells worse than that stuff. If you are thinking of buying that stuff, why don’t you just go ahead and shit your pants and save yourself the $10.
Personally, I like Le Male. It smells good, but not too “Jack Tripper”, and I get complimented on it all the time. The best thing about it is that it smells clean, not sleazy. Girls like the smell of a good cologne, but what they really like is the smell of clean.
Always carry gum with you. Or better yet, mints. I always carry a tin of Eclipse Mints with me. The blue ones are the best. These things are kind of expensive, and a total pain in the ass to find, but they can make a mouth that smells (and tastes) like ass smell fantastic in seconds.
Why are mints better than gum? Let me rephrase that as a statement to emphasize this: mints are better than gum. The reason is that gum requires you to chomp it. Chomping gum is a nervous response, and the more nervous you get, the more violently you are going to smack that gum. This is a serious demonstration of lower value. No one looks cool gnarring away on a piece of gum. Do yourself a favor and get the mints.
Altoids taste great, by the way, but are failures at making your mouth smell and taste better. Click that there link above and buy a 20-pack of those eclipse mints. Awesome stuff.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Byron // Aug 30, 2007 at 12:24 pm
i have a couple questions. 1: i go to collage full time, i have a part time job but i make very little money, like about 160 a month. with that kind of cash, how do you recommened i use it?
2: i read that shiny shirts, like the ones Madador wears on the pick up artest, are a must have. is that true, and where can i find them?
3: is telling a story, even a fake one, the best way to get yourself talking to a girl? like for example, i start out with the opener, “did you see the fight outside? i mean, these two women were fighting, its was brutal.” and then i can use that to follow up with a story about how i had an ex-girlfriend that was a stripper, who was being followed, and i came to her rescue. i can also tell a story about how i was hiking and came across a mountain lion, they are common around here.
also, if its not to much trouble, can i have an email, i need all the advice i can get, and it gets embarressing to post everything on here.
thanks for the help.
2 seenstr // Sep 3, 2007 at 10:10 am
1. With $160 a month you can still have style. When I was in college, I did most of my shopping at the local Army/Navy store. Just be creative — don’t walk out of there in full combat fatigues!
Thrift shops are a good choice as well. You know those vintage clothing stores that charge $200 for some old dead guy’s groovy velvet pants? Well, that store has a buyer who hits the local thrift shops in the morning, snatches up all the good stuff, and then marks it up through the roof. Just beat that guy to the punch, and get those pants for $.50.
2. Shiny shirts are dead. Matador can kind of pull it off, but in general, there is too much “tool” associated with them, at least here in California, since ever dopey fratboy within state lines seems to think that the shiny shirt is the pinnacle of style.
Nah, stay away from them.
3. The best stories to tell are your own. You can embellish them, but if they aren’t at least somewhat grounded in truth, you are going to look foolish when asked a question that you can’t answer.
If you have no interesting stories, go out and get some. Go do some interesting things.
You said you are in college, so you must be learning something. Would any of it be interesting to a woman? You can open a set by simply walking up and relaying a bit of information that you learned in class. Don’t start it like “hey, in class today, I learned…”, instead start it like “Hey, did you know….”
Your professors are interesting people, aren’t they? That’s because they know a lot, and they have a lot to talk about. Be like them. Women love to learn new things — even if they are just going to forget in a couple hours. It doesn’t matter. Life is interesting when new information is flowing into it.
3 Byron // Sep 3, 2007 at 2:05 pm
thanks for the advice. i have another question. do you think its a good idea to go to a club, since theres only 1 where i live, see how people dres, so i know what is expected of me. like some recon.
4 seenstr // Sep 3, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Recon is good, and fun. Just make sure you aren’t trying to blend in to the crowd. Focus on the guys who are doing well, and study them. Don’t study the crowd, because the crowd is a bunch of idiots.
Remember the key is to set yourself apart from every other moron who approaches these women all night long. Some guys mistakenly think the way to do that is to become their friend. A true PUA knows that the way to do that is to be different, and genuinely interesting.
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