Seenstr - Hacking Human Nature

August 25, 2007 - Los Angeles, CA

A pool hall can be a great place to meet women or a terrible place to meet women. It all depends on the vibe of the place, really. More often than not, unfortunately, pool halls tend to be overpopulated with really douchey guys, with only a sprinkling of women throughout, and most of those on the arm of one of the douches.

This particular place wasn’t so terrible, but it was definitely not ideal. Luckily, I wasn’t there to pick up women, which is one of the advantages of having game — you get to spend a good number of your nights out just having a good time, not worrying about pickup.

I was there with several beautiful women, all of which I have known for years, and I was able to get their reactions to the shit game the other males in the place were tossing out. Picture the scene if you will: a roughly 50/50 split of males and females, some of the females quite good looking (one of them an absolute stunner), and the majority of the males not what you would immediately peg as AFCs. In fact, most of the men were well dressed, well groomed, and quite good looking. Of course, as any good PUA knows, their looks matter very little, and my conversation with the girls backed that up completely. Not once did the looks of these guys factor into their opinions.

So here I am, resting comfortably against the south wall, circled by about 4-5 women, just having a chat. Meanwhile, the other men circle the floor like sharks. Note that the girls are circling me. To the rest of the room, it looks like I’m getting gamed by them. This is my favorite move. If you control the stage, dress the stage appropriately. You always want it to look like, to the rest of the room, that you have 2-3 women actively competing for your attention. Of course, in this case, it was me and a couple friends having a conversation. But it didn’t look like that to the rest of the room, because I set it up according to my needs.

So as the night progressed, the women report back to me on what was just said/done to them. All of these are told entirely from the POV of the female. I’m going to share their reports with you, you lucky bastards .

Lame Game #1

Girl goes to the bar, queues up, and waits to get a drink. Solo. Guy approaches from behind¹ .

Guy: “Hey, you should get a <random hard alcohol brand>.²”
Girl: “Um, yeah, I think I’m going to get a beer.³ I’m just trying to figure out which one to get.⁴”
Guy: “You should get a Bud Light.⁵”
Girl: “Ugh.⁶”

Analysis:

1. Don’t approach from behind. It is threatening, and demonstrates low value. Approach from the side.
2. Shittiest opener ever. That’s all you can come up with, sir? Think about the stock openers, the “canned” material that seems lame simply because it’s canned. Do you see how “Do you think women or men lie more often?” is better than this piece of garbage? “Hey you should get a Jager shot!” “Uh, ok” And BOOM conversation over. You need to open with something that can sustain a conversation, something for which you and her are guaranteed to have an opinion about. You are in line at the bar, don’t talk about alcohol, or you’ll have nowhere to go with it once you leave the bar.
3. This is where she tells you she already thinks you’re a moron. She outright rejects your suggestion, without even feigning slight consideration of it.
4. This is a hint for you to buy her a drink. But she already thinks you are a loser, so it’s a sucker’s offer. You’ll buy her the drink, and she’ll disappear into the night. You lost already, save your money.
5. What the Christ?!? If you are going to suggest a beer, at least suggest a good beer. I don’t even drink beer and I know not to suggest a Bud Light. At least Natural Light or Pabst Blue Ribbon make good comedy options here.
6. Game over.

Lame Game #2

Guy attempts the forward approach, sometimes referred to as the Player’s Game. Contrary to the belief of the player, women are not attracted to players.

Guy: (sliding up to random, solo target)¹ “Hey sexy!”² (puts arm around target)³
Girl: (wriggles away/pretends to answer cell phone/laughs)⁴

Wow, this guy had the worst game ever. Analysis:

1. Do not slide up to a woman like you have a purpose. This is telegraphing interest in the worst way. Also read my post on the stink of desperation. This guy positively reeked of it, and eventually became the butt of every girl’s jokes the rest of the night.
2. “Hey sexy”?!? No no no. Seduction guru Juggler (who’s methods are extremely lame in my view) suggests using the word sexy to a woman rather quickly. This is a fool’s move, I don’t know why anyone would think this would work. It especially shouldn’t be done in the first second of conversation. Every girl I was with was approached by this guy, and each of them found this word indicative of an oncoming onslaught of creep. Mystery, in his The Mystery Method, frames the game in terms of three broad stages of pickup: Attraction, Comfort Building, and Seduction. Going for sexy in the first breath is skipping the first two stages (which together take hours to attain), and going right to “hey baby let’s fuck”. Is there any wonder this fails completely?
3. Do not aggressively touch a woman before you build comfort with her. Physical contact by a stranger can be seductive, if she is comfortable with you, or threatening, if she doesn’t know who the hell you are. Note that this is the moment the female decides to eject, without fail, in every case.
4. Game over. Each of these conclusions was reported to me by three different women. This guy was later spotted laying his mad technique on another guy. The male target later reported to me that he was just as horrified by it as the women were, despite the fact that he was a gay man who would have otherwise been attracted to the guy. Moral: this lame pickup is just a ridiculous on men as it is on women. Don’t do it.

Lame Game #3

A group of three guys, all good looking, well dressed, and well groomed¹.
Each guy picks a target, swoops in, lays down some lame game, gets the “I have a boyfriend” deal breaker², and bails³.
Girls see guys return to the group⁴, and overhear them saying something like “nah, she has a boyfriend. What’s that other girl’s name?”⁵ etc.

Analysis:

1. Again, looks, clothes and style mean very little if you are a chump. Any AFC would look at these guys and think “wow, they must get tons of chicks”. And yet every girl thought these guys were idiots, completely unworthy of their attention.
2. This is not always true, and even if it is, it isn’t a deal breaker. It’s really up to interpretation. “I have a boyfriend” can mean “not so fast, I’m not a slut”, it can mean “get away from me you disgusting wretch”, or it can mean “I have a boyfriend”. You really need to feel this one out. The fact is less than half of these girls had boyfriends, and yet each of them shot the guys down in the same way.
3. Why would you bail upon hearing that she has a boyfriend? That means you were only talking to her with one thing on your mind, she guessed it, and you confirmed it. Instead, turn the situation on it’s head. Keep talking, but scale back the seduction. Just have a conversation. Make some jokes, make her laugh. The fact that a girl is talking to you, and enjoying your company without pressure, will raise your value in the eyes of every other girl in the room. You will attain a measure of pre-selection here. Use it to your advantage. You’ve already opened the set, now make the best of it. Bailing out just shows the entire room what a turd you are. Take note, however: don’t overstay your welcome. Just try to make the best of it. Who knows, she may even change her opinion of you. Sometimes, “I have a boyfriend” is just a shit test.
4. It’s ok to return to your group, but wouldn’t it be better if your group were with you the entire time? Most groups of guys who go out looking for women huddle together, then one of them ventures out, makes a move, then rushes back to the security of the group. This repeats all night, until every woman in the room is snickering about them. Don’t be these guys. A wingman isn’t there to hold you and gently wipe the tears from your eyes after a girl rejects you, he’s there to be on your wing when it happens — in other words, right next to you.
5. The girls overheard a bit of conversation in which it became clear that these guys were there to meet a woman. They weren’t there to have a good time, unwind after work, hang out with the boys, etc.  They were simply there to meet a chick and hopefully get laid.  The girls told the other girls, laughed about it, and guess what? None of these guys met a woman. Their value was hovering around zero at that point, despite them being outwardly very well equipped. Remember, you aren’t out to meet a girl (again, read my post on the stink of desperation), you are there to have a good time. If you meet a woman, hey, the night will be even better. This might not be the case, but she needs to believe it is the case. And the best way to make someone believe your lie is to believe it yourself. So believe it.

Following these exchanges, the girls all confirmed for me what they really think when they see a good looking guy in a club. One of them put it like this:

“It’s like you see a guy, and you think he’s cute, got a good style, he looks like he could be a cool guy. And then in two seconds you’re like ugh, go away retard.”

This is how girls operate. Your looks might catch their eyes for a moment, but ultimately it’s your game that matters. If your game sucks, no amount of looks, style, or money is going to help you.

Bookmark to: