Reading over the VH1 board for “The Pickup Artist” for about 30 seconds will get you up to speed with the current anti-PUA mentality pretty quick. Every page is about 50% posts consisting of either “ew, this is so degrading to women” or my favorite, “this might work on stupid girls, but it would never work on me!”
Neil Strauss said it pretty well in The Game:
And I’d heard just as many intelligent women say, “That wouldn’t work on me,” when I told them about the community. Yet minutes or hours later, I’d see them exchanging phone numbers—or saliva—with one of the boys. The smarter a girl is, the better it works. Party girls with attention deficit disorder generally don’t stick around to hear the routines. A more perceptive, worldly, or educated girl will listen and think, and soon find herself ensnared.
I said earlier that the most incredible thing about pickup, the theory and methodology, is that it is completely psychologically and biologically based. You can walk right up to a girl, layout your plan of attack for her, then step through it, and it will still work. It is out of your control, completely. Unless, as Neil stated, you are an idiot, or, as I’m stating here, you aren’t human. Sorry, but that’s just reality.
I like to draw the comparison to a girl who dates unavailable guys. A psychologist will quickly, and correctly, predict that she very likely grew up without a father, or with a father who was either emotionally or physically detached in some way. By dating unavailable guys, she is trying to recreate the situation from her childhood, in an attempt to “fix” it. She finds a guy who makes her feel like her father made her feel — and she does this totally subconsciously — and then tries to make him make her feel the way she wants to feel. Basically, she wants that love she never got from her father.
Ok, but here’s the interesting part: if you tell her that that’s what she’s doing, and if you convince her completely that that is what she’s doing, she will still continue to do it. That’s how powerful our psychology is. Knowing what you are doing and why has almost zero effect on whether or not you continue doing it. That’s why one or two therapy sessions never manage to wrap up your problems, which are ridiculously simple to an outsider. Instead therapy is a lifelong process that rarely, if ever, manages to actually change you in any profound way.
That is fascinating to me. As rational, self-conscious beings we should be able to understand our weaknesses and adjust ourselves accordingly. But alas, we cannot.
Remember I mentioned approach anxiety, and I stated that everyone, even master pickup artists, has it. A master PUA knows he is going to succeed, and yet he still feels that anxiety when he approaches a girl. It is completely beyond our control.
1 response so far ↓
1 Byron // Aug 21, 2007 at 10:22 am
i am listening to all you say, but what i need, is a good conversation starter, when i walk up to a girl, what should i say to get the ball rolling.
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