There’s a video embedded at the end of this post. And while it is absolutely inspirational, it may be utterly devastating to watch. I know what I’m doing, and I know how to survive a shit test, and this video still fucked me up a little bit. I’ll talk more about it later, but just be warned. Don’t skip to the video before you read this entire post.
What is a shit test? In a nutshell, a shit test is sort of the female version of a neg. If anyone ever tells you that the neg is misogynistic, tell that idiot about the shit test. That’ll shut them right up. Where a well-executed neg is playful, fun, and mysterious, a shit test is simply cruel and soul crushing. And every girl — all of them, without exception — dishes them out without mercy.
A shit test is where a girl skillfully fucks your game up completely. At its worst, it is a girl flat out calling you a loser. At its most subtle, it is a girl wriggling her way out of your line of sight. Either way, it hurts.
“Sorry, I wasn’t listening, what did you say?”
“I gotta go, my friends are waiting.”
“That was the lamest pickup line I ever heard.”
“I’m kinda talking to my friends here, ok.” (rolls eyes)
If you finally overcome your approach anxiety, you open the set with flair, and then she drops a shit test on you — it could be game over faster than you can blink. One would hope that women don’t have a clue what these little shit tests do to a guy’s ego, because if they do and they toss them out like live grenades anyways, then women are truly evil. The good news is, they don’t know (well, the evil ones do, but the rest don’t). The shit test is a built-in response. It is called a test for a reason — it is one way a woman tests your ability to defend yourself.
Think of it this way: if a woman detects that you can’t stand up to her threatening you, how are you going to stand up to a future threat to her? And remember, psychologically a woman needs a guy who can protect her — even in a modern world where women don’t need much protecting, the need is still there. It’s built in. There is nothing we can do about it.
The only thing we can do about it is handle it gracefully.
The vast majority of men handle the shit test the same way: they take it personally. If a woman essentially calls you an asshole to your face, how could you not take it personally?
Actually, the answer to that is pretty simple. You don’t take it personally because it isn’t personal. How could it be? She’s only known you for 15 seconds. How could she possibly know the extent to which you are an asshole? 
More importantly, you need to always remember what it is that is happening. It isn’t an insult, it isn’t a rejection, it is a shit test. A shit TEST. Don’t make me use blink tags here. Repeat after me: TEST. That means there is a right and a wrong response, just like any test. How you answer the test determines everything.
How do you answer it? Short version: defend yourself, without losing ground. That is key right there.
* You don’t want to attack back (“what the fuck is your problem?”).
* You don’t want to get defensive (“I’ll have you know this shirt cost me $100!”) .
* You do want to defend yourself while maintaining your dominant status (“Now now, young lady, no need for that!”).
Note that humor is almost a sure fire way to successfully handle a shit test. Don’t react with anger, or defense. Just laugh it off, as if you know she was joking (even if she gave no indication that she was, and she very likely wasn’t). When you master that, you can work up to turning the shit test back on her. I’ll talk about that in a later post.
Now I have a rule about the shit test. I expect it, and I understand it is natural and necessary. However, a girl that throws out too many shit tests, or extremely vicious shit tests, is no longer worth my while. She goes from being a fun pursuit to an ungodly bitch. I’ve encountered a lot of these types of women and I usually find myself just bowing the fuck out at a certain point. I’m not about conquering everything I see anymore, and it’s just not that fun to win over an absolute hag, in my opinion. But it certainly can be done, if that’s what you want to do.
So now the video. This is a video of Mystery in L.A. conquering one such monster. This girl is so vicious that I actually started sweating watching it. It’s hard not to — as I said, even once you’ve got your game and even once you are able to see them for what they are, these shit tests, especially when they come fast and furious, can still sting. But watch how Mystery handles them. Notice how he just plows right through them without ever taking them personally.
If you ever needed to be convinced that Mystery knows what the hell he is doing, watch this. If you are fragile, for God’s sake don’t watch this. Although Mystery eventually wins her over (the video finishes with the kiss), the body of this video is painful to watch. But if you can get through it, you will be inspired.
39 responses so far ↓
1 Vinny // Aug 16, 2007 at 3:55 pm
hey…followed this link from the vh1/pua message boards. this blog seriously has to be the mose useful thing I’ve read all day. as for the video, all I can say is that’s the real fucking magic right there. if I get anywhere near half that good, I’ll have lived a more fulfilling life than I had ever expected
2 seenstr // Aug 16, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Heya Vinny, glad to have you as a reader. Be sure to bookmark the site and keep coming back. I just recently launched this blog because I wanted a place to share all the knowledge I’ve picked up over the last 30+ years figuring it all out.
I have a “method” of sorts that is quite different from Mystery’s. It sort of answers the demand for a more “natural” approach, and I’m working up to releasing the whole thing in some format or another, but in the meantime I’ll be hashing out my thoughts and ideas here in the meantime, so I can guarantee you’ll learn something new every day.
3 Sarah // Aug 23, 2007 at 7:41 pm
I loled at the “deep down your throat” suggestion.
I think one thing you forgot to point out:
“Sorry, I wasn’t listening, what did you say?”
Is MUCH different from the very similar sounding “The music is too loud, I didn’t hear you?”
The latter is an invitation to lean in closer and possibly even apply lips, however fleetingly, to ear.
4 seenstr // Aug 24, 2007 at 10:17 am
The music is too loud is just a statement of fact, with no positivity or negativity built in. It should only be used in the comfort stage.
5 marcus // Sep 22, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Sarah was talking about saying “I didn’t hear you” to let the man know it is ok to move in closer. A benign and even inviting shit test to be sure. It’s a wonderful thing to hear because it allows an easy segue into isolation in a more quiet area. The first time I saw this clip I was amazed at the apparent ease of Mystery’s game. It’s a master class.
6 a // May 20, 2008 at 9:45 am
maaan .. the video’s been removed from youtube, any mirror ?
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