I really enjoyed Steven Levitt’s book Freakonomics
Anyways, the New York Times has a Freakonomics blog, posted to by Levitt and a couple other people who I’ve never heard of. One such posting called “The Science of Insulting Women” discussed The Pickup Artist, Mystery, and negging. Although it shouldn’t surprise you that the poster (a female, incidentally) got the concept all wrong.
Under particular discussion is a pickup technique that Mystery advocates known as “negging” — a move that involves interjecting an insult during an initial conversation with a woman. The motivation behind the insult is, as Esquire’s A.J. Jacobs puts it, to “lower her self-esteem, thus making her more vulnerable to your advances.” While this tactic has provoked considerable ire, by all accounts from Strauss and his skirt-chasing Svengali, it seems to work.
Well, no, a neg is not an “insult”, Melissa. Nor is it intended to “lower her self-esteem”. It is intended to make you more interesting, by offering her a compliment in a way she is definitely not used to, and by forcing her to prove her worth to you, rather than the other way around.
Read my post on subtlety if you haven’t already. A perfectly executed neg is a brilliant example of subtlety. We do not want to approach a beautiful woman and blurt out “OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO HOT!!!” as she’s heard that countless times before and it is a practically meaningless statement to her. Nor do we want to “insult” her, as Melissa seems to think. You do not get far with a beautiful woman by walking up to her and blurting out “EWW YOU’RE SO GROSS!”
A neg is what some call a backhanded compliment. It is a compliment with a twist. “You’re very pretty, but I prefer dark haired girls”. “I like your hair. Where did you get it dyed?” etc. See? It is a compliment, with a twist. You are still giving her praise, but you are stepping it back a little bit, and in fact you are leaving her wondering whether you complimented her at all. And if you did it right, she will start to fish.
The reason why this is great is that you’ve now given her a mission — to get to the bottom of how you feel about her. An insult leaves no question about how you feel, nor does vomitous praise. But a neg is a mystery.
Probably the most interesting note in the blog post linked above is that when looking at insults between partners (in established relationships), psychologists have found that men use insults against their partners as a mate-retention strategy. In order to keep her, you tear her down. Would that work? Probably, but why in the hell would you want to be in a relationship with a broken human being?
But that has absolutely nothing to do with pickup, Melissa. Nor would any decent PUA advocate such behavior. Part of the allure of becoming a pickup artist is finding your way into a relationship that brings you joy, not one that is held together by misery and insults.
15 responses so far ↓
1 John // Aug 17, 2007 at 11:58 am
dude i love your website but can you give a list of negs?
2 seenstr // Aug 17, 2007 at 12:42 pm
I could, but it’s better to understand a neg conceptually, so that you aren’t tossing out negs that don’t make any sense. And also so you aren’t tossing out some stock neg that a girl has heard a hundred times before.
As an example off the top of my head, I once watched a guy toss out a stock neg in front of me (”I like your nails, are they fake?”) and get zero reaction from the girl. I pushed him aside and noticed the girl had a little piece of food on her cheek, which I promptly reached out for, pulled off, and showed her, with a comment like “this was messing up your good looks, babe”.
That definitely injected the self-consciousness, and it was also totally spontaneous and situational.
3 John // Aug 17, 2007 at 2:11 pm
ahh i see so i should like look for somethign that makes her look bad then turn it around telling her that it makes her look bad?
4 John // Aug 17, 2007 at 2:12 pm
hey i love this website if you have AIm or something can you talk to me please? Im a sophmore in school and i really need help
5 Keith // Aug 23, 2007 at 8:08 am
Good I also get ur aim too cuz i am a senior in highschool and i am desperete for some help
6 seenstr // Aug 23, 2007 at 9:03 am
Just keep reading, guys. I post at least once a day, and you’ll learn a lot by visiting here. If you have any questions, just leave a comment and I’ll do my best to respond.
7 Keith // Aug 24, 2007 at 7:37 am
i got a question i waent to a party at a kids house the other night and i couldn’t get any girls to ntoice me what would u say is the best way to accomplish that
8 seenstr // Aug 24, 2007 at 9:33 am
Keith: Check the front page in 15 minutes
9 Impussyquerse // Oct 14, 2007 at 10:45 am
60 Second Quote To Consolidate Your Student Loans
student loan consolidation
10 AccundCreedge // Dec 9, 2007 at 6:45 pm
emm.. why this page loading so slow?
11 Weityfienilip // Jun 3, 2008 at 11:41 am
Better than VIAGRA!
Like Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, ERECTifix Rx is an oral aphrodisiac that stimulates erectile function. ERECTifix Rx helps most men with ED improve their erections. This means they are able to achieve harder erections. But unlike Viagra and the others, ERECTifix Rx is an edible film strip that dissolves on contact and usually works almost immediately. You will be ready and raring to go within seconds as opposed to the 30 minutes that Viagra needs to take effect. Additionally, ERECTifix Rx Strips are so small you can carry a whole supply tucked into your wallet, like a book of stamps, always ready to use.
Getting an erection is only half the story. Maintaining one is just as important. ERECTifix Rx can help with both. This can lead to a more satisfying sexual experience with your partner. As an added bonus, ERECTifix Rx will also freshen up your breath at the same time with the great taste of cinnamon.
Who can take ERECTifix Rx?
* Men of all ages
* Men who have difficulty all the time or just some of the time
* Men with other health issues such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and depression
See for yourself why ERECTifix Rx Strips more than exceed the sexual demands of every man and more than surprises the wildest hopes, dreams and expectations of every woman. ERECTifix Rx is an absolute must for sexually active men, or men shamed into sexual retirement due to erectile dysfunction.
http://www.kopetl.com/v/ - FREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS!
Talk to you soon!
12 MupKayaky // Jun 20, 2008 at 1:14 am
Better than VIAGRA!
Like Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, ERECTifix Rx is an oral aphrodisiac that stimulates erectile function. ERECTifix Rx helps most men with ED improve their erections. This means they are able to achieve harder erections. But unlike Viagra and the others, ERECTifix Rx is an edible film strip that dissolves on contact and usually works almost immediately. You will be ready and raring to go within seconds as opposed to the 30 minutes that Viagra needs to take effect. Additionally, ERECTifix Rx Strips are so small you can carry a whole supply tucked into your wallet, like a book of stamps, always ready to use.
Getting an erection is only half the story. Maintaining one is just as important. ERECTifix Rx can help with both. This can lead to a more satisfying sexual experience with your partner. As an added bonus, ERECTifix Rx will also freshen up your breath at the same time with the great taste of cinnamon.
Who can take ERECTifix Rx?
* Men of all ages
* Men who have difficulty all the time or just some of the time
* Men with other health issues such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and depression
See for yourself why ERECTifix Rx Strips more than exceed the sexual demands of every man and more than surprises the wildest hopes, dreams and expectations of every woman. ERECTifix Rx is an absolute must for sexually active men, or men shamed into sexual retirement due to erectile dysfunction.
FREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS!
Talk to you soon!
13 Orgarmarene // Jun 23, 2008 at 11:21 am
Why erectile dysfunction (ED) happens?
ED can be caused by things like stress or fatigue. But a lot of times, ED is not something that you can control. That’s because it’s often due to a physical problem that affects your blood flow.
When a man has ED, the nerves or blood vessels in the penis don’t work properly. This prevents blood from flowing to the penis. And that can prevent an erection.
Causes of ED.
ED is often related to other health issues that can affect the flow of blood to the penis. Issues such as
* High blood pressure
* High cholesterol
* Heart disease
* Diabetes
* Prostate problems
* Stress
* Depression
No matter what the cause, treatment with a product such as ERECTifix Rx is usually effective.
FREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS!
14 Roxpoolmege // Jun 24, 2008 at 3:57 am
REAL TESTIMONIALS from ACTUAL CUSTOMERS!
Thanks again guys, your product has done wonders for my personal life!”
“Wow, I wasn’t ready for how good this product is…had no idea it could be that strong, without the side effects I experienced using Viagra. My girlfriends thanks you too, it’s like she’s insatiable now that she’s gotten a taste of what its like when her man uses ERECTifix Rx Strips!”
Mark J, Wyoming.
“I struggled with ED for so many years. It probably cost me more relationships than I care to remember. I wish I had dealt with it sooner. Well my new girlfriend won’t be going anywhere. I got a solid supply of your ERECTifix Rx Strips at hand! I was told of your product through a friend who swore up and down that they worked unbelievably. I had never ordered anything online so obviously I was skeptical, and I started with a small package. I was so impressed I immediately ordered a full 6 month supply! Now I make sure I always have some nearby, just in case
Geoff D, California.
“ERECTifix Rx Strips are the best product available for supercharging your sex life online today! That’s a guarantee.”
Dr. Ray Francis, San Francisco.
Don’t be left behind!
15 incurturl // Jul 28, 2008 at 6:05 pm
All the strength of Viagra and Cialis, in half the time, and afraction of the cost!
Stop spending hundreds of dollars on a few pills, save time try Erectifix to see how well it can improve your sex life, on so many levels!
Just one small strip 10 minutes before the fun starts, and the magic begins!
Visit our website now to see price discount specials in effect, ending soon!
Leave a Comment