Seenstr - Hacking Human Nature

I have to say, we’re off to a good start. I am definitely hooked. In this episode, we begin by sending giving them boys a brief lecture on appearance, and an introduction to “peacocking”, before sending them out to update their avatars.

This was particularly well handled here, as Mystery instructed them on the basics of peacocking (we want to stand out, not blend in), but also offererd some pretty harsh criticism of the guys who went overboard. This is important, because I’ve seen far too many guys learn about peacocking and then go way over the top. I had feared that Mystery would be perpetuating this, what with the big furry hat he wears each episode (note: do not EVER wear a hat like that in public if you want to attract a woman). Much to my delight, he noted where the boys crossed the line between peacock and retard.

Notably, the 45-year-old virgin went for a more youthful look that just comes off as ridiculous on a 45-year-old man (a distinguished suit would have worked much better), and the fat man went for the lazy-slob-with-a-trust-fund look. A couple others ended up with looks that were just too busy, or just plain silly. The winner of the competition, rightfully so, was Spoon, who’s transformation managed to walk the delicate line between radical and ridiculous. His reward was the ability to work through his set of stock openers with an actual woman, a friend and no doubt former conquest of Mystery’s. The other boys were forced to rehearse their openers with each other.

About the openers: the guys were expected simply to open a set at the club that night, and they were each given a stock opener to use. Thus, each needed to rehearse their opener so as not to completely blow it.

I might as well talk a little bit about opening a set here. One of the criticisms people often have of pickup techniques is that they are too rehearsed, that a good pickup needs spontaneity. I get this criticism completely, and I agree that a spontaneous approach is stunningly awesome. Nonetheless, the stock openers work, almost every time. Remember, it’s not about whether the target has heard it before, it’s about whether or not it works. And regardless of how stale they are, many stock openers simply work.

But still, most people buy the line that our experiences are all unique. They aren’t. I posted last night about how I believe the human brain is programmed to reject any understanding of itself, and in tonight’s episode we see a couple of the guys simply rejecting the idea that a stock opener will be effective. They want the opener to be organic, they want to be themselves. Consequently, they fail. The Cuban goes off script and starts break dancing, causing the viewing audience to smack their heads in disbelief. The 45-year-old virgin goes off script and babbles incoherently.

The lesson? Be yourself later, once your game is second nature. Until then, follow the script. If your game is crap, you cannot be trusted to make your own decisions at this point.

The most disappointing opener of the night was Spoon’s, who showed real promise in designing his avatar. He ejected himself from the club before approaching a single girl. Mystery and crew gave him a quick pep-talk about the universality of his insecurity (see my post of last night for more on this), and sent him back in. After some hesitation, he opened a set, and didn’t do half bad.

Given his courage in opening that set, I was pretty convinced at that point that I knew who was going to win this thing. Spoon had the most to lose in opening that set, and he did it anyways. In fact, once you surrender, going back in to open is about 1000 times more difficult than if you just did it in the first place (insecurities start to skyrocket after you commit to failure), and yet he still did it. I was proud as hell of that kid, and I was rooting for him to go all the way already, and we’re only in the second episode.

Alas, when it came to the end, Spoon quit. He couldn’t handle the emotional stress of going back into a club, and he volunteered himself for dismissal. He justified it to himself by saying he learned a lot, and that he’d get to the point he wanted to reach at some point, in his own way. I hate to say it, but Spoon, if you happen to stumble upon this blog and read this, you are wrong. Bailing out so early in the game told us a lot about you. You could have gone all the way, my friend, and yet you gave up too early. Until you commit to being a different person, no matter how difficult it is, you will always be the same guy. And if you can’t stand who you are, I can’t see any amount of emotional pain that could take precedence over that. It was a real bummer to see you go so soon.

So, who do I project to win now? Well, Brady is showing promise. The Cuban, AKA Kosmo would be a given if he can lose the dopey street kid act. But the gay guy is probably the guy to watch. His biggest crime was over-enthusiasm — and make no mistake, he completely over did it — but too much of a good thing can be turned down. It’s much harder to turn up what isn’t there to begin with.

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