Seenstr - Hacking Human Nature

Here’s something I’ve told a few people about, but which most find incredibly hard to believe: how people perceive you will always be identical to how you perceive yourself.

The reason this is so hard to believe is that we are sold the line, from birth, that everyone has a unique viewpoint, that everyone has their own opinions and personalities, and that we are all as unique as snowflakes. This is pure, 100%, complete bullshit.

If that were true, the entire psychic industry would be out of business.

You’ve no doubt heard of “cold reading” — if not, in a nutshell, it is how psychics are able to “read” you. The idea is simple: start with the premise that all of us are roughly 90% identical to each other, and then use some clever wordplay to discover the “unique” 10% about someone. Listen to a psychic giving a reading to someone, and instead of listening to see if it matches the person getting the reading, listen to see if it matches you. Odds are, it will — almost eerily so.

Why is that? Simple. Because the things we don’t like about ourselves, the things we are afraid to let other people know about, the things we think uniquely define us as people, are in fact universal. But we don’t realize that because everyone else is keeping quiet too. If we don’t talk openly about these things, of course we think we’re the only ones doing/feeling/thinking them. But, in fact, we’re not. Those odd things that we find so unique about ourselves are actually pretty damn universal.

So what does this have to do with projecting self-image, you are wondering? I’m merely trying to convince you of the first step in realizing how to convince people of your own worth — even if you have none. That first step is accepting that 1. we are all the same and 2. we are all, every one of us, equally insecure. The reason that is important is this: when you walk into a room, and you are thinking to yourself, “I wonder what these people think of me?”, in fact every other person in that room is thinking the same thing. How can anyone make a judgment about someone, especially a quick, snap judgment, when they are so consumed with worry about how everyone around them is judging them?

Answer: they can’t. So they do what we are programmed to do: they take your word for it.

If you’ve ever been around a really imposing, powerful person, someone who just knows that they’re the shit, you’ve experienced this. You’ve looked at him or her and thought to yourself, “damn, who is this guy?”

Try it yourself, if you are able. Instead of entering a room full of strangers like you usually do, in a submissive posture and without making eye contact with anyone, try entering the room with your head up, your chest out, and look a couple people right in the eye. If they smile at you (watch, they will), smile back. Then just continue on your way. Get to the other end of the room and turn around, lean against the wall, and survey the room.

What just happened? What are people doing? Who are they looking at? What are you sensing from the room?

Try it. Post here about it. I’ll write more on this topic later, and I’ll let you know what the cues are that people use — subconsciously — to form their first impression of a stranger.

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