Seenstr - Hacking Human Nature

One maneuver some guys with (unconfessed) approach anxiety sometimes make is to bypass the club scene altogether in favor of what my friends and I used to call wrinkle ranches. These days I’ve heard them referred to as cougar dens, but essentially we’re talking about bars frequented by younger men and older women.

In theory, this should be a wonderful thing. Women in their 40s and beyond enjoy a significantly stronger libido than their 20-something counterparts. At the same time, the 20-something men putting themselves on display are at the height of their sexual prime, and looking for essentially what the older women are looking for: cheap, fast, exciting sex. Couple that with the fact that older women are much more confident and willing to do the opening, and you might ask yourself: how can I lose?

The problem is that finding a mate isn’t just about finding a mate. It’s much more about finding the best mate you can get. The guys I know who have gone this route tire of it pretty quickly, and the near universal reason they burn out is that they simply get tired of older women.

Why? Simple: they weren’t looking for older women to begin with. What they really wanted was a hot young woman that they had to chase. A combination of crippling AA, laziness and a healthy dose of desperation was what really brought them to the wrinkle ranch, and once the desperation was quelled, the women stayed the same.

Am I telling you not to hit up the wrinkle wranch? Not at all. Have at it if you want, you might have a good time. Just don’t go there under false pretenses. Don’t convince yourself that the WR hookup is what you really want, instead of admitting that your AA and lack of congruence are preventing you from attracting the younger, prettier girls. That said, a night at the wrinkle ranch can do wonders for the sorely incongruent male.

Roll in, get opened, maybe get closed. Have a good time. Improve your self-opinion, then leave. The benefit to your congruence will peak, and then it will snowball downhill quickly if you start to feel like a guy who is only really good at laying old ladies.

I hit up a wrinkle ranch last weekend with a buddy just for kicks. It had been awhile (at least a decade), and I had forgotten just how aggressive older women can be. We were opened a few times within about 15 minutes, and a half-hour in I was literally pounced upon by a woman claiming to be 38 (fat chance — I’d say 48 would be a better estimate). It was at this point that I remembered why I always advised my friends to avoid wrinkle ranches and instead focus on congruence building: there was no chance in hell I would go home with this woman, not even on a mission of mercy.

For me, there is no excitement in getting picked up. I am a PUA, I’ll do the picking up, thanks. I will select you, not the other way around. And most importantly, I will attract women on the level that I truly desire, rather than laying myself out before the vultures and settling for whoever approaches me.

Read that last sentence again. That’s what being a PUA is all about: choice.

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Saturday night I went out to a club in Hollywood to take in some live music. As always, a few interesting stories:

First of all, I don’t dance. It does nothing for me. Of course that makes things a bit odd when you find yourself at a club where people are dancing, but so be it.

There are three ways to approach this scenario:

• Dance, have no fun, and feel like an idiot.
• Don’t dance, have no fun, and feel left out.
• Don’t dance, be congruent, and enjoy yourself.

Guess which one is the correct approach?

On the topic of congruence: men will approach you all night, asking you why you aren’t dancing.  On any given night, the cock-block brigade wil be out in full force, and one of the signature moves of an experienced cock blocker is to challenge you for your non-conformance.  If you are already with a beautiful woman or two, the CB Brigade will double their efforts.

How to respond?

Incongruent: “Uh, I’m tired, err… I’m not a good dancer, uhmmm, I don’t feel like it.” (look away, turn red)

Congruent: “I didn’t come here to dance.” (smile, turn to your companions and continue talking)

Pretty basic stuff, right? Always keep that in mind. Be congruent.

So anyways, I’m out with two beautiful women. I’m listening to the music, they’re dancing together. By the way, my congruence is wholly dependent upon the fact that I’d much rather watch the girls I come with dancing, being sexy and having fun than go out and dance myself. It’s not fun for me, I don’t look sexy… I think the choice is obvious.

So AFC approaches, stands in front of me, and begins dancing near us. It’s pretty clear he’s going for the “accidental” opener, wherein he pretends to be surprised by us a few minutes later, and then engages the females. This is a lame opener, by the way — do not “accidentally” approach women, intentionally approach them! This is also where AMOGs start getting testy — he’s moving in on the group using the ultimate AMOG technique, and AMOG feels threatened.

Luckily for this guy, I’m not an AMOG — AMOGs are the farthest thing from ALPHA that you can get (this is explained in the Seenstr level one eBook in detail).

I lean over to girl 1 and say “check your watch, in 5 minutes this guy is going to make his move”. She in turn leans to girl 2 and repeats my prediction.

5 minutes later, guess what? AFC makes his move.

AFC: “Oh hey, didn’t see you there!”

Girls roll eyes. I laugh.

AFC: “Are you guys together?”

Girl 1: “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend.”

Girl 2: “Yeah, he’s my boyfriend too!”

AFC: “Really? Lucky guy!” (cue sequence of goofy, pseudo-sexy facial expressions).

Of course, the girls want to know how I not only knew he’d make a move, but how long it would take him.

The rest of the night, AFC shadows me, asking for my “secret”.

Couple hours later, girl 1 comes up to me and relays a woeful tale of pickup on the dancefloor.

AFC: “Hey, what’s up?”

Girl 1: (responds in foreign language)

AFC: Oh, (responds in same foreign language)?

Ok pause here a moment. Girl 1 served up a very interesting but not uncommon shit test — she was foreign, and decided only to talk to this guy in her native tongue. For most of us, this is a tough one to handle.

The wrong response: “what? WHAT? WHAT I CAN’T UNERSTAND YOU!”

The right response: converse back in some other, non-english, possibly made up language. See how long you can keep it going with her. Continue until she laughs. ICE BROKEN!

He actually had an ace up his sleeve — he knew the language she was shit testing him with. Unfortunately for him, he went nowhere with it, and she blew him out immediately.

The rest of the “pickup”, if you want to call it that, consisted of such lame classics as “oh are you too good for me?” “what you don’t want to talk to me or something?” “what, do you have a boyfriend or something?”

That’s 0 to 60 to 120 in reverse in 2 minutes. ALWAYS be aware of shit tests, and especially be aware of those small moments when the Gods bestow a gift of luck upon you. If a girl shit tests you in a way that — by pure luck — you are able to immediately turn into a DHV, DON’T BLOW IT!

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This is going to seem like an odd story, and I spent a full day trying to figure out how to present this in the best way, so bear with me if it seems a little disjointed.  This particular story can be taken in many different ways, hopefully it will inspire those with approach anxiety.

First, I should point out that a huge part of the Seenstr Method is congruence, and a key concept is the 80% rule.  Briefly, the 80% rule states that once you open a set, you have surpassed 80% of the men in the room (which includes those who never even entered the room).  Conquering approach anxiety puts you in the top 20% of men competing for the attention of the women in proximity.  When you know you are in the top 20%, you should get a huge boost in congruence.  It is easier to believe that you are a desirable prize when you know that you are in the top fifth of local men.

Short version: A PUA opens sets.

Now, the story:

Recently I started taking the bus to one particular place I need to get to.  I started doing this for three reasons.  First, my guilt over the impact I personally have on the environment driving around Los Angeles is starting to get to me.  Second, it takes less time to get to this particular place I need to be via mass transit than it does in my own car (30 minutes typically versus an hour and a half).  And third, it is a terrific way to study human nature.   This story is a terrific case in point.

So I’m on the bus, hanging in the back, actually paying attention to two women in their early 30s having a conversation.  I was deep in an analysis of their issues when an HB8 gets on, rolls to the back, and sits next to me.  I would have opened her, but to be quite honest, I was more engaged with the conversation the two women were having.

A couple stops later, a guy in his early 20s gets on, moves to the back, and plants himself right next to HB8.  Describing this guy would be pretty tough, but let’s say that he was severely mentally handicapped.  If he wasn’t as extremely slow as he was, he would have actually seemed like a normal, relatively good looking guy.  In other words, he wasn’t drooling, banging his head against the wall, or anything like that.  Just… slow.  VERY SLOW.  Oh, and with the thickest glasses you’ve ever seen.

So anyways this guy naturally gets my attention.  I notice he’s sort of eyeing the HB8 next to me, and I start to wonder what this guy might be thinking.  Soon enough:

“Hey how was work?”

HOLY SHIT he opened the set!

Now pause for a minute.  How do you think HB8 reacted?  Do you think she ignored him?  Did she blow him out immediately?  Did she flat out reject him?

Seriously, what do you think she did?

ANSWER: She talked to him.

This is the moment, if you’ve got game, where you start to demonstrate your social value to the target.  Without opening, this moment is never going to happen.  I don’t think this guy was capable of doing much on his own, given his affliction, but he was able to open a set.

Are you?

Now, of course he blew it.  Not that he had much of a chance to begin with.  About 5 minutes in he dropped the dreaded “do you have a boyfriend?” bomb.  He also was way too aggressive.

I can’t believe I’m analyzing a retarded guy’s pickup, but I thought it would be incomplete if I didn’t.

Anyways, what’s the moral of this story?

OPEN OPEN OPEN.

A mentally retarded young man opened a set right in front of me.  What’s your excuse?

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